Super Dads, Super Kids! strengthens father-child relationships
A 12-week program at CUPS for dads, father figures and legal guardians continues to be a safe place for men to connect, learn how to nurture their children and know they aren’t alone with the challenges they face. Brave like the comic book heroes, participants choose to enrol in Super Dads, Super Kids! (SDSK) to learn about their own resiliency, that of their children and the wellness built by those bonds.
Sharwyn Tough, program facilitator and coach in our Family Development Centre (FDC), says the program is vital because there are fewer parenting programs for fathers. In her experience, dads want the help, and in this case, seek it out for themselves.
Originally an eight-week program created by Dad Central in Ottawa, Sharwyn says the entire program is informed by input from fathers, kids, child psychologists and fatherhood specific research. Four classes that were designed by and for CUPS clients to address the barriers they are facing were added to the program.
“It’s about being close and seeing these dads come back every week,” she says. “They’re dedicated and that takes a lot for a dad to take that time away to want to be a better father — that’s special.”
Hosted virtually on Zoom, Sharwyn says she looks forward to Wednesday nights. A new topic is discussed each week, some of which include emotions, ages and stages, kids’ brain development and learning how fathers’ own adverse childhood experiences might affect their own health outcomes.
We know that trauma negatively impacts brain development in young children, and the presence of a caring and supportive adult, in this case a father, can minimize the chances of severe health issues.
“You hear their stories, how they tried something new with their child, or how they played that week,” she says. “It’s so fascinating to me. Dads need this, they want this, but don’t know where to go for it.”
Academic benefits of Super Dads, Super Kids!
Research shows us that the impacts of a strong father-child relationship include:
· An increase to youth reading levels
· Daughters have a better chance to see their self-worth as positive.
· Kids and youth are less likely to partake in criminal behaviour
· When grown, mothers feel less stressed if their now adult children are in a relationship
· Kids have stronger bonds with siblings and peers, and more so respect authority
Support through social and financial issues
Many different fathers join the program by CUPS. Each came to CUPS facing their own challenges, often social, emotional or financial, but with the same end goal — wanting better relationships with their kids.
“Many have mental health issues, some past traumas, and it’s really about them dealing with it, bringing it to Super Dads and knowing they can grow resilient despite it and be a really good dad,” Sharwyn says.
CUPS care model is built in that if clients, ie. the fathers in the program, require additional support from our health practitioners, we’re able to help address the root cause of their challenges. For example, dads, have, in the past, sought out our same day mental health counsellors, if needed.
We know that many parents supported by CUPS have experienced great trauma and come to us looking for guidance in finding the right tools or knowledge to best teach their own children. Sharwyn says she likes to get the dads talking. Each session carries moments of levity, maybe some funny YouTube late night show dad pranks, yet also offers conversation and reflection on serious issues.
There are many ‘aha’ moments as fathers see the lessons positively impacting their relationships with their children. Despite being online, the changes in the dads from day one to graduation are huge.
“You grow to know these dads and they get to know us,” she says, noting the last day is emotional.
One lesson is also self-reflection — their upbringing is not how they have to raise their kids. The dads can change and learn new skills, such as empathy, listening and engaging in play with their children.
“It’s neat to see a smile on their face because they say, ‘that actually worked.’”